Searching for a Bitch in Heat

Bruce the bulldog gave me quite a fright yesterday. I came home and couldn’t find him. After looking all around the house, I headed out back to see a hole under the fence. I drove all around my neighborhood, spoke to neighbors, called the shelter, and no one had seen him. Bruce is my buddy and even though he can be a jerk and refuse to poop outside on a rainy day, he is still the best boy of all good boys everywhere. Don’t argue that with me.

As panic started to set in, my phone rang and it was the microchip company letting me know Bruce had been found. He was at a local vet’s office. Worried that he had been hit by a car, I rushed over there as fast as I could. It turned out a cute girl that works there had seen him running loose and picked him up on her way to work.

Now I have my dog and a date with the receptionist! She is young and chubby which is exactly how I like them. If things go well I will be doing her in doggy style by this time next week.

In the mean time, I am going to get a 34% off discount to Plumper Pass here and pretend their models are all working at veterinary offices in real life.